Trump and the art of interviews

Hannity Loves Trump

Recognition of patterns is a useful tool in everything from Art to Video Games.  Here is the formula for Trump supporters to interview Trump:

  1. Make sure you refer to him with the prerequisite and fawning “Mr. Trump”.
  1. Initiate your question with an overblown compliment to establish your subservience.
  1. State the desired answer as part of your question, then rephrase the answer to make sure he understands.
  1. Let him”answer” your question. His initial response will almost always include part of your desired response ver batim,  If it doesn’t, you didn’t do it properly.  Repeat the process.

At this point, Trump will begin to ramble.  This is where he’ll begin to repeat old talking points from the memes de jour menu:  “dishonest media”, “rigged elections”, “failing newspaper”, “he/she has said bad/nice things about me”.  If he wanders too far off your chosen topic, obsequiously interrupt and re-establish your point in an effort to make him return to reality.  If you had to resort to this tactic, be prepared to discard any shred of integrity you may have left.  Pile on the praise as if it was the shrimp at an all you can eat buffet or risk the wrath of Trump.  This is crucial!  If you cannot debase yourself sufficiently, it could result in never getting another interview with His Worship and being subjected to vile scorn and derision by his followers on every source of social media, and you will be relegated to #nevertrump traitors and branded with the mark of Cain as being a Hillary supporter.  Ask Joe Scarborough.

To be able to find the preposterous moment in devastating circumstances is often referred to as, “Gallows Humor.”  The choices we face this November have been foisted on us by the least informed led by the most corrupt members of our political society.  We do not have the facade of removal of distance by time, e.g., “but other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?”  We are not allowed the luxury of chuckling at the notion of winning “bigly.”

The odds of replacing the Donald with someone operating within the margins of sanity are about the same as being awarded a Mulligan at the Masters.  About the only thing left to serve as a source of amusement is picturing Mike Huckabee, the crew of Fox and Friends, Eric Bolling, and Ann Coulter as serfs fighting over scraps magnanimously thrown from their Master’s table  But make no mistake; they’ll only get to scavenge what is left of the carcass after the main feeding of the Head Sycophant, Sean Hannity.  I don’t know if Hannity holds the patent on this interview formula, but he certainly uses it with uncommon regularity.  Huckabee did a nice imitation with his “stamina” interview the other night, but there’s no denying Sean’s been doing it longer.  If you had the stomach for it and were willing to waste the time to watch Hannity’s admiration fest of Trump interviews, I am quite sure you will find he never deviates from this formula.  Compare any of them to his aggressive stance taken with Ted Cruz or asking John Kasich why he was still in the race.

I am quite aware that Mr. Hannity has almost as thin skin as his idol Trump and has been known to use vulgarity and threaten violence to other writers with contrary opinions.  Let it be known I hold the same degree in journalism as he does : college drop out.  While I do not have the wealth, power, fame, or the lust for them, I still have my moral standards and the ability to sleep at night with a clear conscience thanks to God and an assist from Ted Cruz.

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